Ways To Break This Southern Girl’s Heart
after Diane Lato’s “Easy Ways To Break My Heart”

– give her unsweetened tea. there are no two more terrible words to a southern girl when put together

– tell her you’re an alabama fan. you’ve gotta know that she’s gonna bleed volunteer orange ‘til the end no matter

– tell her you don’t like the mountains. her heart has east tennessee sunrises imprinted on it… and she wants to show you every sunlit, treelined, starkissed view

– turn down the volume when ‘country girl’ by ray lamontagne comes on. papa used to play it for her on the porch, and she’s gotta hear every bit of it, every time

– you wanna really crush her heart? then ask to meet her daddy. because he isn’t in her heart anymore. he was the first one who broke it, and in too many ways, long ago

– and if you wanna just completely shatter her into pieces… then try to give her an ordinary love. because she needs love like wildfire. like forever-fire. until every last southern sun sets. till the stars burn out. and to know her heart is finally safe… with you

…she needs to know that breaking her heart is the very last thing you would ever want to do.

– butterflies rising